As the band release ‘Now And Then, billed as their final song, we go in search of the Fabs’ best-ever tune
First published in 2021
If you ever doubt that The Beatles were the greatest band that ever existed, try ranking their songs. Out of 185 self-penned tunes they released commercially during their initial seven-year run – so not including covers, fan club releases, alternative versions – you’ll list well over a hundred tracks before you get to anything you wouldn’t call sublime, and hit 150 or so before anything verging on average appears. Of their entire catalogue, only six or seven songs could be classed as ‘shonky’, and most of those have still got something historic going for them.
Among them you’ll find songs which caused seismic shifts in pop, psychedelia and rock and the formative roots of punk, metal and electronica, amongst a panoply of other styles they pioneered and popularised in such a short time. It’s a feat unmatched by any act before or since.
As the band release ‘Now And Then’, their “final” song and salvaged with the use of AI, let’s pile back in to the most magical mystery tour pop music has ever known, with each track ranked in order of greatness.
188
‘Wild Honey Pie’ (‘The Beatles’, 1968)
An experimental ‘White Album’ interlude recorded entirely by Paul, ‘Wild Honey Pie’ had a mild element of redneck Grieg menace, but little else to it.
187
‘Dig It’ (‘Let It Be’, 1970)
50 seconds of a far longer studio jam, during which Lennon makes random references to the FBI, the CIA, the BBC, BB King, Doris Day and Matt Busby over a pretty dreary rock’n’roll dirge, ‘Dig It’ only really existed to exemplify the fact that The Beatles cut loose a lot during the ‘Let It Be’ sessions. Now we’ve got seven-plus hours of Get Back, it’s rendered superfluous.
186
‘You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)’ (B-side of ‘Let It Be’, 1970)
“Good evening and welcome to Slaggers…” The Beatles spend an inordinate amount of studio time trying to perfect this frankly silly combo of blues rock, lounge samba, music hall clowning and a bit sung by Crazy Frog’s jazz Granddad. Don’t do drugs, kids.
185
‘Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?’ (‘The Beatles’, 1968)
Even before Google Street View, Paul’s uber-horny blues squeal about dogging like a champion was at best inadvisable and at worst just plain creepy. Everyone will definitely be watching you, so stop. Think. Don’t do it in the road.
184
‘Revolution 9’ (‘The Beatles’, 1968)
Of interest as an avant-garde curio exemplifying the fact that The Beatles had entirely dismissed all sonic boundaries by the ‘White Album’, John and Yoko’s epic sound collage of radio interference, studio chatter and orchestral samples is more notable and influential than it’s often given credit for. But you wouldn’t bung it on repeat.
183
‘Flying’ (‘Magical Mystery Tour’, 1967)
An incidental instrumental to accompany a psychedelic segment of Magical Mystery Tour, ‘Flying’ was little more than 12-bar rock’n’roll played, very stoned, on an organ for two minutes. Some distance from a Welsh male voice choir.
182
‘Only A Northern Song’ (‘Yellow Submarine’, 1969)
Designed as a piss-taking dig at Northern Songs, the Beatles’ publishing company, which George felt rewarded him pitifully for his songwriting efforts, ‘Only A Northern Song’ is intended to sound weird, wonky and half-baked, even as Harrison came into his own as a songsmith.
181
‘Ask Me Why’ (‘Please Please Me’, 1963)
A formulaic shake shack ballad of little note other than the sneaking suspicion that Morrissey took his entire vocal style from Lennon’s end-of-chorus flicks.
180
‘Little Child’ (‘With The Beatles’, 1963)
By-numbers Merseybeat that was one of the few unmemorable originals Lennon and McCartney ever penned.
179
‘Blue Jay Way’ (‘Magical Mystery Tour’, 1967)
Written by George while waiting for houseguests to arrive at the place he was staying on the titular Hollywood Hills street in 1967. They presumably arrived just after he’d perfected the ominous psychedelic organ mood but before he’d really gotten his teeth into the chorus.
178
‘Not A Second Time’ (‘With The Beatles’, 1963)
A song desperately in search of a hookline, ‘Not A Second Time’ finds John’s voice flapping wildly around the verses as if desperate to find somewhere solid to land.
177
‘Her Majesty’ (‘Abbey Road’, 1969)
A lightweight folk frippery that sounds particularly throwaway when tacked on the end of ‘Abbey Road’’s monumental side two medley as a secret final track.
176
‘Run For Your Life’ (‘Rubber Soul’, 1965)
As The Beatles shifted away from love songs, John contributed this out-and-out hate song to ‘Rubber Soul’ – a nifty country rocker and arguably the proto-‘Last Train To Clarkesville’, but notorious as The Beatles’ most problematic track. John would claim to regret having written it, calling it his least favourite Beatles song.
175
‘Free As A Bird’ (single, 1995)
The first of two songs released by the reunited Beatles for the ‘Anthology’ project was the most disappointing of the pair. Built around a very lo-fi and muffled mono demo of a song recorded by Lennon in 1977, gifted to the band by Yoko Ono when they decided they wanted to create something new and produced by ELO’s Jeff Lynne, the Wilbury-esque finished song sounded very Beatles-by-numbers, only with the lead singer recording his part halfway to Narnia.
174
‘Don’t Bother Me’ (‘With The Beatles’, 1963)
“I don’t think it’s a particularly good song,” George said of his debut Beatles writing credit, “it mightn’t even be a song at all.” Actually, it’s a pretty nifty homage to the surf rock craze of the time. And definitely a song.
173
‘For You Blue’ (‘Let It Be’, 1970)
Standard, formulaic slide guitar blues given a sweetness and light by George’s weightless vocals and exclamation, “Elmore James got nothing on this!”
172
‘What Goes On’ (‘Rubber Soul’, 1965)
Honky-tonk pastiche written by John in 1959 and passed over for several albums before landing half-heartedly on ‘Rubber Soul’. You can actually hear the band lose interest midway through.
171
‘Thank You Girl’ (B-side to ‘From Me To You’, 1964)
